Cleopatra the Harlot

The Harlot in all her glory

As I write, my heart is broken.  No, not the loss of full time employment working for a liar and a felon. No, not the dissapointment of unmet expectations at home. No,…sigh not the fact that my knee refuses to heal. No, not the frustration of another firm I consult to refusing to take my august and sage advice who now lie in ruins.

No such thing is breaking my heart.  Instead I sit here pondering where I went wrong. Why she did what she did. Why did this raven haired, long limbed, sensuous lipped temptress choose this time. Now. At the height of my desire, the zenith of my yearning. The ecstasy in sight. Her dark eyes see my soul I know this to be true.  So she knew.  She knew how delicate it all was.  How finely things sat in the balance. Yet she took the perfumed scent of her body from my room and left me alone, desperate and needful.  she rushed to the arms of another man.  She is a harlot of the worst kind.

But I get ahead of myself.

Yesterday Jeff decided to teach me in person the subtleties of Julius Caesar. It started out harmlessly enough.

A few cards here, a few cards there. As Pompey I was focussed upon Europe. Of course I immediately chose to attack toward Massilia.

Rome was captured in a blink of an eye.

She had to be fought for to be held but we repulsed Caesar the traitors attack. Caesar himself did not show his face as he was toddling off to Asia Minor.  Cleopatra had my back as did Scipio, the lesser relative of Romes 2nd most famous general after myself.

He, languished in Antioch. Neither raising troops nor moving for some daft reason.

Perhaps I was too busy playing admiral to notice this lack of activity.

In New Carthage, battles raged to and fro. Cities were gained and lost.
“A” units elude my attacks, ballista foil my sieges. The intricaies and delicacy of units were deftly explained to me, yet I fail to grasp the way to competance. Then demonstrated with crushing efficiency. Whilst my attacks appeared halting and clumsy, my opponent was fluid and sure.

In painful and tragic realisation I saw the attacks I planned, the moves I crafted evaporate with the advent of Neptune. curse you bearer of the Trident. I piss in your Oceans. Gone.  All gone bar a mere pip. Now Utica and Syruause were exposed and ‘lo what! Caesar in a bold move captures Asia Minor with out a fight. Then Mars reared his head.

In the second turn things must turn my way. Grimly I hold onto Spain, destroy armies in the Eastern reaches of Italy all to no avail.

Time is short. Killing , maiming and mauling 6 pips in 12 rolls.


We have but played 2 full turns and it all must be decided now (kids football practice).  I scramble to re capture Carthago Nova, fend off a desperate attack on Rome.

I am up! I have 1 VP lead even after such a disastrous opening. YES!….. but what. Wait. No. I should have gone second….Casesar uses a Navis and attacks Alexandria.

Ha. No chance as I reinforced my dearest Cleopatra with a Legion at 2 pips….oh NO! Just one pip…..

Never fear, I am rolling like a God! The first army is smashed. The second reduces Cleopatra. Sweet love she fights so hard for me. I must risk all for her as she does for me.  Never was there a love, a passion for the times so deep as this.  She will not flee this battle. No Sir.

What madness is this? She does not run. No she fights on. She fights on, with HIM. Caesar ! I am undone. Beside my self I tear the very cloth at my breast and only a faithful Officer stays my dagger from plunging into my own heart. She has traded loved for power. She has traded honour for glory. That bitches nether regions are now another mans.

She is no more, no less than a harlot.


2 thoughts on “Cleopatra the Harlot

    • ahh this is my blog mate. I decided to get back into strategy, conflict simulation and historical games from my college days. I’m surprised you found this little old blog.

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